Dating as a medical cannabis patient – “There is often a sense of shock”

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Dating as a medical cannabis patient comes with its challenges. Jack and Rachael* share the impact that having a prescription has had on their romantic relationships.

Relationships can be complicated at the best of times, but dating as a medical cannabis patient comes with its own set of challenges.

When is the right time to tell your partner about your prescription? Are you ready to be open about your health condition? Will they be supportive? And will your relationship survive under the added financial strain?

Here two patients – one of whom is single, the other in a long-term relationship – reveal the challenges they and their partners have faced.

“I leave my medication as the last topic of discussion, out of fear”

As a young single adult, Jack Pierce has faced challenges when it comes to being open about his medication with friends and potential partners.

As the UK cannabis community grows and the use of cannabis-based medicines becomes more apparent, many patients are embarking on new lives, which are far more endurable.

But alongside this, the stigma towards medical cannabis remains at an all-time high. Many patients using cannabis-based medicines still feel stereotyped and misunderstood by society and those they wish to build personal relations with.

Relationships are something a lot of us can relate to and have struggled with throughout our lives. However, many patients undergoing treatment for conditions with cannabis-based medicines have an entirely different experience. This is why I wanted to share my journey as a single adult using medical cannabis to treat the symptoms presented from my autism and ADHD.

While I have navigated the area of relationships – be it for intimate purposes or friendships – I have experienced a considerable amount of judgement towards my conditions and medications. This has resulted in a reduced social circle and frequent low points within my self-esteem and mental health.

I have previously had to leave my disabilities and medication to the last topic of discussion, out of fear that they will contribute to the end of whatever positive relationship I may have established, and that I will be subject to high levels of judgement and misunderstanding. This experience only adds to my anxiety.

When I have had the strength to reveal to someone that I am a medical cannabis patient, there is often a sense of shock and concern present.

Some people I have encountered whilst attempting to build relationships seem to feel as though I am a lesser human being than my peers, because I require medication to sustain what we see as a normal life. This only results in further detachment and anxiety as I continue to engage in building such relationships.

Much of the judgement which is cast upon patients using medical cannabis is inaccurate. We are often creative and passionate members of society with a high level of trust and empathy ready to be given to the right partner.

As a patient myself, I have experienced the common misconception that an individual who may need medication is lesser than someone who does not, and this is just not the case. I like to believe that my imperfections only strengthen me, and that I offer as much as any other functional member of society in a partnership, be it for friendship or intimacy.

Society’s judgement is not the only driving cause of stigma. Many media outlets still portray cannabis to be a harmful and useless plant, which, if used, makes you a criminal. This current standpoint is only causing patients like myself to feel more misunderstood, as they create an image that we have no say over.

This form of judgement is one that we as patients should not have to endure. Many individuals I have encountered within society have taken the stance that I am “lazy” or am partaking in illicit drug use, therefore, making me a “druggie”, which is far from the case. I consider myself an intelligent and ambitious individual who is using medication to be a better and more functional member of society.

Understanding cannabis can seem quite an overwhelming task to the everyday individual and one which may go against everything they have once known. However, if someone is willing to attempt such an understanding, it can yield only positive consequences which help individuals like myself to finally be accepted. 

Next time, it’s always worth considering whether patients who are using cannabis for their conditions really are what the stigma has to lead you to believe they are, or if they are just trying to live the best possible life they can?

“I’m able to be more compassionate towards their issues”

Rachael* has been with her partner Simon* for seven years. Having legal access to cannabis has had a huge impact on their relationship, but it’s not without its strains.

I’d like to preface what I’m about to say with this: I realise I’m extremely fortunate to be able to talk about having a private prescription, and even more fortunate to have a supportive partner who has steadfastly encouraged me at each step of the journey – from my experience with the illicit market to obtaining a prescription.

They have sat there and listened, been my rock, my sounding board, my trusted advisor. I wouldn’t be experiencing the improvement in my quality of life that I am, if they hadn’t been willing to support me.

For me, there have been a significant number of positives in having a private prescription, largely that my pain is more manageable and my mental health has improved. Due to this, I am able to be more present in daily life as I’m no longer scrolling aimlessly through social media, hopping from one site to another in an effort to distract myself from the pain. 

Instead, I’ve been able to concentrate on whatever we are watching on the television and talk to my partner about the plot or the characters. It’s the little things that add up over time.

I find that I’m able to be more compassionate regarding their own issues as I am not so caught up in my own struggles. As my capacity to deal with life in general has expanded, this has had a positive impact on our relationship.  

As these changes have happened, I find I am rebuilding my self-esteem, block by block and have regained some of the independence I had lost. This naturally has had consequences for our relationship. I am able to do a little bit more around the house so the burden of all of the housework  no longer falls to my partner, which they greatly appreciate.

They aren’t as worried about my physical health as they can see the improvements and they see more of the “real me” and less of my disease. They aren’t worried about the police knocking on the door now I’m “legal”.

In addition, now the pain isn’t driving my mood so much, communication between the two of us has improved, and I am able to engage far more in our life as a couple. 

This hasn’t been without its sacrifices for us however. The initial obstacle, and the biggest hurdle for us to get over, has undoubtedly been the cost of obtaining, and maintaining, a private prescription.  

Even now we can only afford my prescription with financial help from family. Our budget couldn’t stretch far enough, even before the current rise in the cost of living.

The reality for us is that this is not financially sustainable, and this adds a great deal of financial pressure, which is something that we both bear. It is something that plays on our minds daily. Currently, however, this is the best imperfect solution that we have. 

*Some names have been changed

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