Cannabis and motherhood: “I’ve felt ashamed for most of my life, but I’m not afraid anymore”

In the run up to our women’s health webinar on Tuesday 3 August, we are sharing the stories of mothers who have found cannabis medicines helpful in the management of their health conditions – and how they’ve coped with stigma from the rest of society. 

Dr Callie Seaman has been consuming cannabis since being diagnosed with epilepsy in her teens. For decades she hid it from health professionals and other parents out of shame but now her son is 17, she’s speaking out and empowering others to do the same.

“It was my father who introduced me to cannabis,” says 40-year-old mum-of-one, Callie Seaman.

“I wouldn’t be where I am today without him.”

When Callie had her first seizure at school at the age of 15 and was prescribed the anti-epileptic drug clonazepam, her dad always made sure she had a supply so she wouldn’t be tempted to drink alcohol.

“My dad had always consumed cannabis, but we didn’t speak about it, it was just something he did,” she continues.

“This was back in 1995, before the words medical and cannabis had even been put together.

“It wasn’t until I stopped consuming to clear my mind while I was finishing off my PhD, that I realised that this was actually stopping the seizures or keeping them under control.”

On the advice of her father, Callie had continued to consume cannabis during her pregnancy with her son, Baden, now 17, and throughout his childhood.

Dr Callie Seaman

But she never spoke about it with professionals out of fear of social services becoming involved.

“I felt a lot of shame,” she admits.

“I was always incredibly lucky that I had a father who was cultivating it for me so I didn’t have to go to dodgy dealers in car parks, but I felt like a criminal.

“I was living in fear of having my son taken away from me by social services, of having my home broken into by other criminals, of being judged by the parents at school.”

Callie adds: “At children’s parties when he was little, I would see mums open a second bottle of wine and that was not only acceptable, but almost encouraged.

“I didn’t dare get my vaporiser out because of the conversations you would hear about cannabis and so-called ‘wacky baccy’.”

But at home Callie has always been open and communicative with Baden about cannabis.

“I was lucky to have a fantastic husband who supported me. We never hid it from him, but we would never blatantly do it in front of him either,” she says.

“We talked openly about it and we talked about the effects and the differences between alcohol and cannabis.”

When he dared ask her to buy him a bottle of rum on New Year’s Eve, her response was to bake some brownies instead.

“I would prefer him to consume cannabis than to drink or take anything else that is on the street now,” says Callie.

“You can die from consuming too much alcohol, with cannabis the worst thing that’s going to happen is he’s going to go to sleep and wake up afterwards very well rested.”

And while he might have a few gripes with her leaving ominous-smelling plastic ware in the dishwasher when his girlfriend is coming round, Baden is otherwise supportive of her medicating. 

“There is research out there now, it’s very different from when I was growing up and my dad and I had to go to specialist bookshops,” says Callie.

Dr Callie Seaman graduating from her PhD with her son, Baden.

“I’ve been able to actually show him the science behind it and give him the tools and the ammunition to be able to support it.”

Callie is now an experienced cannabis scientist herself and a veteran of the hydroponics industry.

Having first studied for a degree in Biomedical Sciences, during her PhD she became a founding director of Aqualabs, a formulator and producer of specialist hydroponic nutrients. 

“I do feel I was born into this, as though I was destined to go into this industry,” she says.

“My dad taught me so much, I feel unbelievably lucky in that he gave me the open-mindedness to look at this as a medicine as something that helps, not just to look at it as something recreational.”

When Baden turned 16, Callie started to speak out more about her own personal cannabis use.

She joined patient advocacy group United Patient Alliance to help educate others about cannabis and in 2019 spoke at the Centre for Medical Cannabis research synopsis, before becoming one of the scientific co-curators of a pilot program at Cambridge University, CANNTalks.

She is also helping other patients access this medicine through her advisory roles with Cannabis Patient Advocacy and Support Services (CPASS) and Medcan Support.

“I’ve felt ashamed for most of my life, but the last few years have been a real reprogramming for me,” says Callie.

“I remember seeing [cannabis campaigners] Cary Barton and Hannah Deacon speak at an event and they gave me the courage to stand up and say, ‘what am I ashamed of here?’”

Since getting a legal prescription for medical cannabis earlier this year, Callie has been sharing her journey, along with other educational resources on her social media channels, to help change attitudes towards cannabis.

“The reality is the next seizure I have I might not wake up from,” she says.

“I’m not afraid anymore and I want to empower other people not to hide in the shadows. We are not bad people, we are normal people and we are doing nothing wrong.”

Callie adds: “If they want to shame me they can, but I consume cannabis and I am not ashamed anymore. I am ready to stand up and fight this.”

Have you registered for our upcoming webinar, Women’s Health and Cannabis Medicines: Motherhood?

The second episode in this ground-breaking series, will focus on the complexities facing mothers who are both prescribed medical cannabis and those whose children require cannabis medicines to manage their conditions.

Join speakers Hannah Deacon, patient advocate and mum-of-six, Gillian Flood and clinicians Dr Sally Ghazaleh, pain management consultant at the Whittington Hospital and Women’s Health Consultant at Integro Clinics, and Sarah Higgins CNS, women’s health lead at CPASS to explore cannabis and motherhood on Tuesday 3 August at 7pm.

The webinar is free of charge, register here